When I was in junior high, a girl I’d known all my life suddenly stopped talking to me. I made every effort to be kind to her. I tried to start conversations with her only to be met with one word answers.

I smiled at her and she would turn around as if I didn’t exist. She used every opportunity to make me feel excluded. 

Finally, I stopped making any effort at all and that ended things. Looking back with a little more maturity, I can see she was a mean girl.

If you know one, you already know a mean girl thinks it’s cute or funny to gossip about, ignore, or mistreat other girls. They thrive on making the girls who don’t fall into their hierarchy miserable.

Why Are Girls Mean?

What’s the deal? Why are teen girls so cruel? For some, it’s a game with you randomly picked as the target. Other girls are intimidated by you. Why?

Because you have something they want. You might have your own sense of style or a great boyfriend or a large group of friends. Looking back, I think my own mean girl was jealous because I had (and still have) awesome relationships with my friends and family.

How Should You Handle Your Mean Girl?

Dealing with a mean girl is draining for even the strongest girl. Because I’ve been there, I’m sharing my five tips for surviving them. 

1. Watch her actions, not her words. Mean girls will try to cozy up to you to if they think they can get what they want, but stay on guard. Mean girls are experts at using their words to get their way. But if you stay focused on her actions, you’ll be less likely to be swayed by pretty speeches.

2. Don’t give a mean girl space in your head. It’s easy to let the negative things others say about us become our mental soundtrack. But here’s what you gotta know: mean girls lie. They’ll say anything to get you to doubt yourself.

3. Talk to someone. This one’s important. Having someone else listening can make all the difference between feeling totally alone or feeling totally supported. Talking about a painful situation will help you feel better, too.

4. Do something that makes you feel good. What do you enjoy doing that makes you feel like you? Do you write? Draw? Sing? Stay connected to activities that you love. They can be great stress busters!

5. Make healthy choices that help you feel empowered. When you’re being bullied by mean girls, it’s easy to feel powerless. Take back your control by making choices that empower you like eating healthy and working out.

Have You Known A Mean Girl?

Have you ever had your own mean girl?  What do you wish you’d done?  Share your stories in the comments!

Image by: David Castillo Dominici